Searching for Love
Growing up in this world without a father was tough for me. I didn't have anyone to tell me about my worth or confirm who I was. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a loving mother and two older sisters who would go to the ends of the earth for me. But an actual father figure in my everyday life was much needed. I grew up with a desire for love from other people. Unfortunately, this empty feeling was never satisfied this way. During my years of middle school, not many boys looked my direction, but I think that was best for me. It was my high school and college years that gave me the most trouble.
My freshman year in high school seemed like everything thing that I always wanted-- attention from the opposite sex. I truly wanted to feel loved. I didn't seem to choose wisely who I followed and I allowed my peers to influence my decision making. The longing for attention caused me deep pain, hurt, and disappointment.
Looking back, I realize that nobody understood what I really wanted. I never wanted the lack of respect and glares from my peers. I just wanted this four letter word: LOVE. During my first couple years of college, I would search for this "love" but only to realize that I came up short every time. One day, I was walking back and forth on campus, not really knowing what destination I wanted to go to. In fact, this was symbolic for where I was in my life. God sent the right person to stop and talk to me and to invite me to church. Ever since, I've never looked back. I finally received the love that I was longing and searching for all that time. But this time around, I received the everlasting love of God, the one who saved my soul from the despair, hurt, anger, and confusion. The kind of love that never runs dry, the unconditional love that removes every limitation that I experienced before.
Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one's life for his friends.